God and I

Since my birth I have a strange relationship with God. I didn’t like God very much since the beginning. I kept the faith in God and what I got, failures after failures. He always remained unfair to me. He never gave me things that I wanted. He kept me waiting for things that I wanted. He kept me suffering throughout the life. Even if I got the things, I got them when they were no longer mattered to me. What’s the importance of anything when you don’t get it on time?

I started realizing that God is not with me, but I had to keep faith in God because my mother who has a strong faith in God. She says that without God our no work succeeds. Occasionally, I go to temple with my friends, but sometimes I go inside the temple and sometimes I don’t, it depends on my mood. I believe that feelings come from inside, it can’t be forced on someone.

Whenever my faith in God starts restoring , someone or something breaks my faith in God again. One thing is certain that I don’t like God and he doesn’t like me either. It is also certain that I have lost in this bloody God.

God doesn’t exist for me.