Being introvert, I live in my shell. I don’t talk too much. I am not a social person at all. I don’t like going to marriages, parties, or any other social gatherings. I don’t like crowds. I have very few friends. I don’t easily make friends or talk with people. I don’t easily mingle with anyone. Only if I like someone, then only I open myself to them.
Since childhood, I am alone so I don’t feel strange being alone, but, sometimes I feel a void. There is no one with whom I can share my feelings. At times, I feel that I need someone with whom I can share my feelings, who understands me, who listens to me, who cares for me, and who loves me unconditionally.
Being single is a mixed feeling. Being single, I can live my life in my way. I can enjoy the freedom. I don’t have to adjust or compromise with someone. But, at times, I feel the loneliness. Anxiety surrounds me. I start feeling anxious about being lonely.
It’s good to have someone in life who loves you unconditionally, understands you, listens to you without judging you, takes care of you, and stands by you no matter how bad things are going in your life.
I want to have someone like that in life, but I fear commitment because I have seen relationships falling apart around me. To have someone in life is an on and off feeling for me. Some days, I want someone to be in my life, but, some days, I don’t want anyone in my life after seeing relationships falling apart around me.
I am clueless. I am not able to decide what should I do. If I commit, will the relationship survive? If I commit, will I be able to live up to someone’s expectations? If I don’t commit, will I be able to live this life alone? There are only questions, but no answers. I am entangled between committing or not committing.
Searching for an answer.