She called

She called yesterday. It has been exactly 6 months since we last met when she said no. I was going out of town for official work. I was traveling by bus. I had my earphones plugged in and was lost in the music. Suddenly, I looked at the phone, I saw a missed call on WhatsApp. She called on WhatsApp. I didn’t realize when she called. I couldn’t receive her call as I couldn’t hear a ring when she called.

Her call was very unexpected. She didn’t call even once in 6 months. I texted and greeted her at festivals. She did reply with greetings but she never initiated. She passes by my office a few times, but she didn’t come inside once. Maybe she is ignoring me. Maybe she is still miffed with me. What’s my fault? Is confessing your feelings for someone is a crime? But, I can’t blame her also, she may have her reasons.

After that call, she also texted Hi on WhatsApp. I didn’t know how to respond. I was happy that she called, but at the same time, I was feeling lost because I didn’t know that how to react. I was praying that she might have changed her mind. I decided that I would call her in the evening when I would return home so that I could talk to her with a free mind.

I reached the place and got busy with work. After an hour she called again. I didn’t receive the call. I was feeling bad, but I didn’t want to talk while at work. I wanted to talk to her with a free mind. She called again. Even though I didn’t want to receive the call, but I didn’t want to make her wait and feel ignored so I received the phone. She said there is a function in the evening. She invited me to have dinner. She told me the occasion, place, and time. She told me that she had invited two other people from my office. I told her that I am away from home for work and would try to reach there if I got free from work early. I wanted to ask her how is she, but before I could ask her this, she disconnected the call.

By the time I returned home, I was already late for the function so I didn’t go there. If I had left for home earlier, I could have attended the function, but I didn’t try. Maybe I too was unwilling to go to the function as I couldn’t gather the courage to face her or maybe it is because I was hurt with her ignoring me.

There hasn’t gone a single day when I didn’t miss her. For all these 6 months, I was wishing to meet her, want her to call me, want her to talk to me, but when I had the opportunity to meet and talk to her, I didn’t make effort. I don’t know whether I did the right thing or not by not going to the function. Sometimes in life, you can’t decide what you should do.

At night, I texted her that I am sorry that I couldn’t come because I got late. She replied with a worried face emoji and said it’s alright. I don’t how she may have felt.

I had no intention to hurt her or make her feel bad.

I am feeling restless. I can’t express how am I feeling. I can’t explain my state of mind. She is the nicest girl I have ever met or seen in my life. I am not able to think beyond her. I am not able to imagine life without her.

I am sorry if I made her feel bad.

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